Manipulative Games People Play
Manipulative Coercioncontinue >>>
Rather than asking for what they want, manipulative people tend to use deception, coercion, even threats to get their needs met. Manipulation is associated with a number of mental health conditions, including borderline personality disorder, passive-aggressive personality disorder, addiction, antisocial personality disorder, and narcissism.
See discussion on Manipulation on GoodTherapy.org
Generally, manipulators will employ some "angle" or other emotional or social device as a tool of leverage to get what they want from you instead of simply asking respectfully. Such tools or devices may range from outward displays of unwarranted annoyance or impatience, to subtle or implied threats of retaliation, often including some form of character assassination, social undermining, or business disruption. Chronic manipulators become so habituated to fulfilling their needs and desires in this manner, they no longer recognize their behavior as socially inappropriate or unacceptable. It is how they have always behaved, and it has, for the most part, always worked for them without insurmountable complaint.
They often do not understand or acknowledge that their behavior is disrespectful, and act shocked and annoyed when it is pointed out to them that it is. Invariably, they gas-light the complaint of disrespect with an accusation of hyper-sensitivity, or some other demeaning character flaw attributed to the person making the complaint.
They fail to recognize the strength in not tolerating their behavior and calling it out for what it is.